Why Do Opposites Attract? And Can It Work

It's an old saying, but it is inevitably true. Opposites do attract. This may actually be an imprint from our cavemen ancestors who were driven to seek mates who had different traits. This helped to broaden the gene pool. In this day and age we don’t necessarily have the same need, yet we still have the drive. Perhaps it’s because we admire what we see in the other person—things that we are most lacking in ourselves. Perhaps it’s just the excitement, or two opposites act like the positive and negative charge on a battery—it makes the electricity flow.

Why Opposites Make Good Couples

Opposites can actually have great relationships under the right conditions. For one thing, people who are opposite tend to balance each other out. Pair someone very creative with someone who is very pragmatic, and they can help fill each other’s voids. They may make a team who is very good at dealing with problems and finding a way to make things work.

An outgoing partner can help draw a shy person out of her shell, while a responsible partner can help bring stability to someone who had been more wild and carefree. The give and take can result in the greatest benefit to both people.

Challenges Opposites Face

The biggest challenge opposites will face is in communicating. It’s imperative the two people learn to find a way to understand each other. It’s so easy to brush off what the other is saying because you don’t have the same concerns, so listening skills are the first thing you both have to work on. Speaking skills are also going to require work, particularly in the area of word choice.

A good habit to get into is to repeat what the other says in your own words to ensure you understand each other. It’s also a good idea to remind yourself that your partner has a different perspective. If all else fails, relationship counseling can help with communication issues.

Don’t Be Afraid

For some people, a first instinct might be to back off when a relationship with an opposite is getting serious. There’s no need—it can work. You don’t have to have a lot of traits in common to have a great relationship. As long as you have a shared idea of the future you want together, and shared ethics and values you want to live by, your differences can be what keeps the relationship spicy for years to come.

Photo: Pixabay


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